By Sydney Smith LPC, LADC, NCGC-II

A gambling problem can be difficult to detect

Problem Gambling can be hidden for a long time which often makes it very difficult to detect. By the time the problem surfaces and the family finds out, the devastation and wreckage can be tremendous. Family members tend to know that something is wrong with their loved one but due to gambling addiction’s invisible nature, especially in the early stages of the disease, it can be extremely hard to identify.

In this article, we will discuss the signs and symptoms of, and ways to identify if your loved one has a gambling problem. Then, we’ll invite your questions about how to get help at the end.

When a problem gambler approaches you with a debt, it is human instinct to want to help your loved one out of the jam. Unfortunately, providing him or her with a quick fix solution can worsen matters by enabling the person to continue in the future. When people with gambling addictions build up large debts, it is important to use the. It isn't difficult to determine if a person has a gambling problem. The signs of a gambling addiction or gambling problem are likely apparent to significant others surrounding the person with a gambling addiction. But to the gambling addict who's enmeshed in the world of betting, it's often difficult to see things clearly. Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction’. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular. But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating.

Determining if there is a gambling problem

As a family member, we may or may not know the extent of the gambling problem or how long gambling has been an issue for our loved one. We may know about the gambling, but still have much uncertainty as to whether there is a gambling problem. So if you are asking yourself,

“How do I know if my loved one is a problem gambler?”

…the following are questions and information that may help determine if there is a gambling problem.

SIGN 1: Time away. If I know the person is gambling, the amount of time spent gambling or engaged in gambling activities increases. The gambler can be gone for long unaccounted for periods of time.

When the gambler in my life gambled, he often gambled while he was at work. So, in the early stages I did not know how much time he actually spent gambling. As his gambling worsened, he would not come home from work and would disappear for 24 hours at a time.

SIGN 2: Obsession to find money. Is the gambler becoming preoccupied or obsessed with obtaining money to gamble or thoughts of gambling? The great obsession can be on coming up with ways to borrow money, taking out loans, pawning items for cash, or planning their next bet.

Living with a gambler in the past, I would frequently have jewelry missing or items of value just disappear. Later I would learn that my gambler would pawn these items to obtain gambling money or to chase his losses. Later in the progression of the disease, the gambler may be physically present but not there, as the mind is preoccupied with gambling.

SIGN 3: Emotional volatility. Does the gambler have moods swings or gambles as a means to cope or change feelings? A gambler deep into his addiction can exhibit mood swings similar to those of a person diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. The extreme up and down in moods can be hard on both the gambler and the family members. The “up” moods can follow a win, and the gambler may even brag about the winnings. The “down” mood can be very depressive and the gambler may experience anxious or depressed mood, anger, and become irritable.

Gambling is used to change the way the person is feeling and the family members may hear the gambler make statements such as, “I had a stressful day at work and I just need to go gamble to unwind”.

SIGN 4: New secrets. Are there secretive behaviors or hiding? Is the gambler becoming very secretive in his actions and with his money? Hiding of gambling wins or losses, hiding lottery tickets, tax documents, etc. becomes common.

In my therapy practice, I often hear the spouses say, “I found payday loan papers, or while cleaning, I found ATM receipts from the casino.”. The family may begin to lose trust for the gambler as the hiding, concealing, and lying about gambling grows.

20 questions to ask yourself

These are a few of the more noticeable warning signs one may experience with the gambler. In addition, Gam-Anon created a simple list of 20 questions for family members to ask themselves.

Family members of problem gamblers will answer “YES” to at least seven of the twenty questions.

1. Do you find yourself constantly bothered by bill collectors?
2. Is the person in question often away from home for long unexplained periods of time?
3. Does this person ever lose time from work due to gambling?
4. Do you feel that this person cannot be trusted with money?
5. Does this person promise that he or she will stop gambling, yet gambles again and again?
6. Does this person ever gamble longer than he or she intended?
7. Does this person immediately return to gambling to try to recover losses or to win more?
8. Does this person ever gamble to get money to solve financial difficulties?
9. Does this person borrow money to gamble with or to pay gambling debts?
10. Has this person’s reputation ever suffered due to gambling?
11. Have you come to the point of hiding money needed for living expenses?
12. Do you search this person’s clothing, go through his or her wallet, or check on his or her activities?
13. Do you hide his or her money?
14. Have you noticed personality changes in him or her?
15. Does this person consistently lie to cover up or deny his or her gambling activities?
16. Does this person use guilt induction as a method of shifting responsibility for his or her gambling onto you?
17. Do you attempt to anticipate this person’s moods to try to control his or her life?
18. Does this person ever suffer from remorse or depression due to gambling sometimes to the point of self-destruction?
19. Have you ever threatened to break up the family because of the gambling?
20. Do you feel that your life together is a nightmare?

What can you do next?

This list can be found on the Gam-Anon website or in Gam-Anon published literature. If you can identify with any of the information listed above:

• Continue to educate yourself about gambling addiction through resources and literature.
• Reach out to a trained professional.
• Attend a Gam-Anon or any 12-step support meeting for friends and family of addicts.

If we believe our loved one has a gambling addiction, it is OK to encourage them to seek help, however, it is vitally important for us as family members to seek out our own help. We are not alone, there is hope, and life can get better.

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About the Author: Sydney Smith, CEO of RISE Center For Recovery in Las Vegas, Nevada, is a psychotherapist and Internationally Certified Gambling Counselor, currently active in her practice which has a specialty focus on the treatment of problem gamblers and their family members. She also works as a researcher with the Desert Research Institute in Las Vegas, NV. She was the 2016 recipient of the Shannon L. Bybee Award.

For the most part, gambling is a social and recreational activity enjoyed by the majority of gamblers without any problems. However, there are a number of people who have significant gambling problems, causing harm to both themselves and important people in their lives. For yourself and those around you, it’s important to understand how to spot the signs that someone has a gambling problem.

As an employee in the gaming industry, it is your responsibility to provide an environment that is safe and supportive for everyone who takes part. That means offering assistance where needed and information about how problem gamblers can receive the kind of support services that may require.

By undertaking a RCG (Responsible Conduct of Gambling) course, you will be armed with the skills and knowledge to detect problem gamblers in the premises where you’re employed. You will be taught how to offer advice for those individuals to get the help they need if they so choose. Most venues will have their own code of conduct that must be approved by their state’s gambling regulation body, and will provide guidance for interacting with those who are showing signs of problem gambling.

Signs of a problem gambler

Amongst the thousands of patrons participating gambling, there are a number of tell tale signs that can ihelp to detect a problem gambler.

1. Playing regularly

Anyone who plays regularly, such as more than once a week on gaming machines, or spends long periods of time in the one spot (i.e. gaming machine) or venue is an indication of a gambling problem. Skipping meals or taking time off work to continue gambling are further key signs.

2. Changes in behaviour

There are several ways in which problem gamblers can exhibit behavioural cues that indicate problem gambling, such as:

• • Sudden changes in behaviour, with patrons moving from pleasant to offensive in an instant.

• • Poor anger management and abusive language.

• Violent outbursts against others, either in person at the venue, or on the phone to a betting outlet.

3. The blame game

Blaming others for their losses, or claiming the games are rigged to lose. Problem gamblers often declare that a specific object (i.e. gaming machine, horse, football team) owes them a win.

4. Outward signs of stress

Physical cues include perfuse sweating, crying, frustration and shaking. This could culminate in a verbal and/or physical outburst of a violent nature, or feelings of guilt and remorse.

5. Gambler’s fallacy

Often known as chasing the win, gamblers believe a win is just around the corner after a string of losses. Problem gamblers will continually gamble to try and recover their losses, which could culminate in betting larger amounts of money andtaking more risks.

6. Borrowing money

This could include asking other patrons in the venue to borrow money, asking the venue to provide credit, or trying to sell personal belongings to patrons to raise additional gambling funds.

7. Sharing personal problems

Problem gamblers are four times more likely to have a drinking problem [Link to the article – ‘What are some of the key facts about gambling in Australia?’] . Alcohol lowers inhibitions and people are more likely to share personal information with you, such as an inability to pay bills, relationship problems, or stories about past gambling wins.

8. Lying and seclusion

How To Find Out If Someone Has A Gambling Problem Involving

Problem gamblers will lie to everyone about their whereabouts, take phone calls outside so as not to giveaway their location, and withdraw from socialising with others. They may even ask employees to lie on their behalf should they receive phone calls from people asking if they’re at the venue.

9. Concentration

Becoming so engaged in the betting activity, such as gaming machines, that they have no awareness or understanding about what is going on around them. At times this can result in problem gamblers falling asleep.

10. Trouble leaving

How To Find Out If Someone Has A Gambling Problem

Problem gamblers may not want to leave the venue at closing time for a number of reasons:

• • On a winning streak

• • Chasing a win following a string of losses

• • Don’t want to go home and face their family

• Don’t want to be alone

Helping someone with a gambling problem

Most people want to help those in need, regardless of what the problem might be. Compassion is a natural human reaction to seeing someone in trouble, but it can be difficult to take action for a number of reasons. However, despite any reluctance you may have, RSG legislation and the venue’s own code of conduct will require you to provide the problem gambler with a duty of care. While it can be a difficult step to take, it has been shown that staff who approach gamblers with gaming machine problems can have a positive impact in reducing their addictive behaviour1.

By enrolling and completing a RGG online course, you will learn how to identify a problem gambler, and the steps required to approach them and provide the assistance they potentially need. You have a legal and moral obligation to provide assistance, so make sure you’re well trained so problem gamblers can receive the best support possible.

How To Find Out If Someone Has A Gambling Problem To Be

1 Caraniche Pty Ltd. 2005. Evaluation of Electronic Gaming Machine Harm Minimisation Measures in Victoria. Final Report. Melbourne: Victorian Government Department of Justice